Law Jokes

Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

The image is a three-panel comic. In the first panel, a police officer is talking to Spider-man, saying "Spider-man! There's a kid trapped on the-". The second panel shows Spider-man replying with "Fuck you". In the third panel, Spider-man is shown again next to the police officer and saying, "Remember kids, never talk to a cop without a lawyer present, for ANY reason!"

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Why do orphans play GTA?

To make them feel wanted.

How do get a nun pregnant? Fuck her!

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

What do you call a nut in jail?

A busted nut.

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”