Law jokes

There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.

One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"

"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.

"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.

"Are you mad?" The police asked.

"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.

"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.

"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.

Why did the blind woman get raped?

Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.

What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

"Face the wall!"

Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?

Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."

Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.

Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"

Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."

Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."

*Operator hears a distant gunshot*

Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"

Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

There's only one gender. Women are property.

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?

I hear they got six months each.

A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"

Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?