Law jokes
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Carly: Hey do [you] want to have sex? [Age] (43)
Zina: No! [Age] (10)
Carly: Good cause I can make you do it anyway! [Age] (43)
What do you spot in this place that [is] gay!
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"