Law jokes
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
How do get a nun pregnant? Fuck her!
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.