Law jokes

Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.

What do you call an adopted orphan?

Wanted.

Why was the duck arrested?

Because it was caught selling quack.

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.

Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?

They need parental permission.