Law jokes

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

Why are all orphans criminals?

Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

7 was a registered sex offender.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

What do you call an adopted orphan?

Wanted.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

Why can't an orphan go to school?

They have no one to sign the parent signature.

Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!