Kid jokes

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.

Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.

Because we couldn't afford a dog.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Why do kids like bananas?

'Cause they like doing the nana.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.