Kid jokes
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Memes
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.