Kid jokes
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.