A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
Kid Jokes
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
