Paraplegic jokes

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.

They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.

I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer."

Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.

What’s better than Stephen Hawking?

Stephen walking.

How do they execute paraplegics?

With the electric wheelchair.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?

"Dine and dash."

What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?

In trouble!

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.

What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?

Hopscotch.

A paraplegic walks into a bar...

It's funny because he can't walk.

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Walking.