Kid jokes
What game do emo kids hate the most?
Life.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Alle kinder hedder Rune, undtagen Kurt, han hedder Rune.
All the kids are named Rune, except Kurt, he is named Rune.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!