Kid jokes

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

What do you call a gay kid on fire?

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...