Kid jokes
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.