Kid jokes
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Why does the emo kid skip class?
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.