Kid jokes

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

What do you call a gay kid on fire?

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

Why does the emo kid skip class?

There was a kid sitting in a corner.

Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

Orphan: "..."

Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_