Kid jokes
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.