Joke jokes
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
Where did Suzy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."