Joke jokes
I'm gay, lol.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.