Joke jokes
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Wanna hear a joke?
Woman's rights.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
Wanna hear a joke?
This site.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke!
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.