Joke jokes
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
Wanna hear a joke?
This site.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke!
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
I'm gay, lol.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.