Joke jokes
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was depressed.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"