Jesus Jokes

Jumpy

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

Anonymous

Why can’t Jesus eat m&ms? They keep falling through his hands.

How does Jesus whistle? bye s blowing through the holes in is hands

Anonymous

What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

3
I’m going to hell

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

Anonymous

in the movie cars 2,there is a priest which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars

B-Rich

Whats the difference between a Hooker and Jesus? Their face when you nail them!

Anonymous

Mom told me drugs are my enemies Jesus said to like your enemy’s Yay i can like drugs then

What do Jesus and I have in common? No one knows my real bday either

Lovely perv

Man 1: why don’t we just put all the dept in the world on one man then kill him? Man 2: we tried that once it started a cult

so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "

so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.

Anonymous
in Hairline

Yo Hairline so far back it goes back to Jesus on the cross

Anonymous

What is the difference between jesus and the devil? When the devil came to earth he was the one with the nail gun.

FORTNUTE

Ariana Grande

6
Cereal lover

What’s the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only needs one nail.

Unscrewedfish7

What’s the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin

0
Anonymous

a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa’s has moved twice, Abraham Lincon’s once, and George Washington’s never. the man asks to see the current president’s, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden’s is the one keeping the hurricane’s to speed

3
austin lora

what is Jesus favorite Sports CrossFit

Yo Mom

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

The teacher fainted

Jamiedun

Jesus is a rock music fan

Because he like 9in nails