God=what I hope to be Devil=what I can't accept
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you Jesus for creating baptism.
what's better? nailing jesus or getting nailed? depends on who's sucking.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does the dairy products praise? Cheeseus
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
jesus and satan are just basically homer and flanders. one tries to help the other, only for satan to just say "shut up".
my gay ass: i want to find jesus religous mom: FINALLY me: grabs a noose
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that’s not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar , '13 pints of water please' he says to the barman 'Oh fuck not you again' barman replies 'You boys are about to see something real special' says Jesus
Why is Jesus in pieces? Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
My friend showed me his broken finger and i said JESUS, he said his name is Jake
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails
If Jesus told you to trust everyone that must be why there is a lot of kidnappings
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
you
Jesus lives on a long time line, so he may seem slow to you.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
