Jesus Saves...Or Not

41 views · 3 years ago

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

Explanation

Explain Bear

Listen here, smart guy. This joke is about how Jesus saved someone from going to hell, but the person didn't want to be saved because they wanted to fight Satan and God. It's funny because it goes against what people usually think about religion. You probably think water is spicy. Get it?

Comments (1)

Serbian patriot and a follower of Jesus

2 years ago

The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.

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Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted. Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell! Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!
Should I burn heaven?
What is hell to you? Jesus!!!!! He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment. But Judgment Day is his eternal hell! And our Eternal Heaven!!
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time! Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time. Lol, Surprise! Joke being on them. As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for. Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves! HELL! P.S. With a little extra punishments!