Disciple jokes

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

Isaac

Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.