Timeline jokes

Jesus

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

When your teacher says to write a summary of the book you read

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

do i cross ur mindddddddd? much as u cross mineeeeeeeeee? were on seprate timelines but sometimes i wish you were still on mine~