Timeline jokes

Jesus

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

When your teacher says to write a summary of the book you read

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

do i cross ur mindddddddd? much as u cross mineeeeeeeeee? were on seprate timelines but sometimes i wish you were still on mine~