Timeline jokes

Jesus

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

When your teacher says to write a summary of the book you read

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

do i cross ur mindddddddd? much as u cross mineeeeeeeeee? were on seprate timelines but sometimes i wish you were still on mine~