Timeline jokes

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?

About nine months and a day.

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

11:45 - Arrived at crime scene.

11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle.

11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain.

11:45 - Realized watch was broken.

I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.

What time is it?

They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.