Jesus Jokes

Difference

Godstalking

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

Nail

Anonymous

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands? FEET! FEET!

Man

Anonymous

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

0

Christian

IAmDaemon

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

6

Blood

Anonymous

Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

1

INS

Anonymous

Jesus walks in to a motel throws 3 nails on the counter and says can you put me up for a night

Posing

Jesus

Jesus created the t-pose first

Born

What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?

Holy shit, I burnt one.

Ugliness

X

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term,"red skin appreciation".

Paint

X

I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.

Man

Godstalking

What did one God say to the other?

I will die to be a man.

God

E

what's better? nailing jesus or getting nailed? depends on who's sucking.

Crucifixion

If Jesus was real they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion.

They would call it crucifact.

Man

Lovely perv

Man 1: why don’t we just put all the dept in the world on one man then kill him? Man 2: we tried that once it started a cult

Virgin

Anonymous

Why can’t jesus be born in West Virginia

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

Heaven

Anonymous

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

Drug

Anonymous

My mom told me that drugs are my enemes..........But jesus said to love my enemies

0

Virgin

Supa Sanic

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not!! He got nailed before he died.

7

Drunk

My mom said i need Jesus in my life, So I drunk up the holy water ;}.

Eating

Anonymous

Why can’t Jesus eat m&ms? They keep falling through his hands.