What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us…
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land
Why doesn’t Jesus buy beer?
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
“Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now.”
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Jesus took bread and said: “This is my flesh!” Then he took wine and said: “This is my blood!” Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: “Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!”
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not!! He got nailed before he died.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Are you Jesus? because I want to nail you
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
If were all gods children… whats so special about jesus?
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains so Mohammed said my faith can move sky scrapers
What’s the difference between Jesus and the baby i have in my basement. Jesus died a virgin
Q. Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture
A.one uses 1 nail to hang