Jesus Jokes


in Darkness

What do Jesus and a painting have in common? They hang by nails


Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?


A true God, would be godless himself.



Jesus was the one who created the t pose. not fortnite


My friend showed me his broken finger and i said JESUS, he said his name is Jake

Yo Mom

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

The teacher fainted


Did jesus die a virgin? ofc not you idiot he got nailed before he died!



Yo Hairline so far back it goes back to Jesus on the cross



did jesus die a virgin no he got nailed before he died


Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin? Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died


Al fayed’s son arrives at heavens gates and sees his driver He shouts ‘ you stupid cunt ‘ The driver says ‘ Watch Boss? ‘ Dodi replies..::::: I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL


what is jesus's favourite exercise? cross fit.

Pickup Lines


Are you Jesus? because I want to nail you



How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.



in Edge

Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore

Because he has holes in his feet.


What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.


If Jesus told you to trust everyone that must be why there is a lot of kidnappings

austin lora

what is Jesus favorite Sports CrossFit



One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT



What did mother mary say when god farted? jesus christ you stink!