Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Make this post have 1000 comments
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
Anyone want to join us? :DDD Talk to anyone on the chat :)
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.
I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
âBJ Titsngolfâ
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Me, trying to interact with people: âHey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.â
Person Iâm talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* âhaha what.â
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
