A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.
Drink tea with friend game night.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
"Bye bye guys, I'mma leave this shithole, but look at my post in the community tab."
[Link]
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nonye.
Nonye who?
Nonye buisness.
Knock knock.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
