Exchange

Exchange jokes

Dollar

    • A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.

    He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.

    Sandwich

    • Three men are working on a building site.

    Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.

    The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.

    "By god," the man exclaims, "I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and every day, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself."

    The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.

    "Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Every day, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself."

    The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.

    "I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself."

    The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.

    The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.

    At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.

    "If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches," says the first man’s wife, "I always thought he was being ironic!"

    "And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches," says the second man’s wife, "I always thought he was being sarcastic!"

    "And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches," says the third man’s wife, "but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!"

  • 1
    • Exchange memes

    America

    • What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

    A foreign exchange student.

  • 1

    • Hooker

    • What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

    A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.

  • 1

    • Turn

    • I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

  • 0

    • Priest

    • Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

  • 0

    • Trade

    • I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

  • 1

    • Nut

    • I bought a guh on the weekend.

    (what's a guh?)

    GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

  • 3

    • Flag

    • Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

    *Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...

  • 1

    • Professor

    • A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

  • 2