Intelligence jokes

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

Why are mountains so smart?

'Cause they have a degree.

Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.

Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

What do you call an autistic army special forces?

Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.