Intelligence jokes
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected
Yo momma so dumb, the doctor wanted to give her a blood transfusion but she said no because she thought it would turn her trans.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
How do you make an idiot say how?
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.