Smart jokes

My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

The "S" in Putin stands for smart.

Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?

smart

kind

sweet

caring

loving

mature

My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Why do orphans hate smart kids?

Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.

It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.

Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?

The motherboard was nowhere to be found.

POV: me telling a joke.

My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

Why are dolphins so smart?

Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.

And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?

The dinosaur once existed.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

What is a kid who loves school?

A smart kid.

This explaining bear, lol. Bro acts so smart, but he's just AI, and bro uses the worst nicknames. "Buttercup, sweetheart"... like, SWEETIE, get a life and stop roasting us.