INS jokes

Song

  • I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.

    My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.

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  • Urn

  • Me: "What are you doing??"

    Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

    Me: "I don't know."

    Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

    Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

    Don't bully kids.

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  • Pregnancy

  • What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

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  • World

  • The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

    Arson

  • Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.

    And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

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  • Student

  • If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

    If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

    If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

    Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

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  • Priest

  • Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

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  • Family Tree

  • Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

    A: Fall.

    If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

    Suicide

  • When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

    "Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

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