INS jokes
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Timo Werner is the best striker in the world.
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?
A penguin in a blender.
What happens when the Freedom Towers got hit? They step in Ground Zero.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.
It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.
It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.
This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.
So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.