INS jokes

What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?

(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."

Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.

"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.

What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!