Injury jokes

How do make an adult cry?

Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said... “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?

The finish line at the Boston marathon.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

What happened to the blind man's son?

He thought he was hitting a piñata.