Injury jokes

U die from robot bite.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?

Because she fell into a minefield.

I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.

When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!

Rachel: Alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!

My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.

She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.

A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a cat.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

A bear is like your best mate, Harry.

If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: A nun falling down the stairs.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.