ID jokes

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!

I'd be a liar.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.