ID jokes

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!

If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!

I'd be a liar.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."

If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.