Access jokes
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?
"It has no home button."
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.