Access jokes
His wife shut off the internet.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?
"It has no home button."
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.