Humor
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What's up, bitches? Miss me?
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)