Humor
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!