Graveyard

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

Influence

Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.

Noah

What do you call a bad joke?

A bad Noah!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Memes

Mouse

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Glass

Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.

Fam

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

Twin

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Butt

How do butts stay cool in the summer?

They stay in crack conditioning.

Video

I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.

Career

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

Bar

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀