Humor
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Memes
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
What would an orphan call a family picture? A self-ie.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣