Humor
69, 420, 21.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
What is a "dad?"
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.
Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."
Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."