Humor

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.

Lettuce pray.

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"Ash."

"Ash who?"

"Bless you!"

You want a pizza from me!!!!

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.

Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

At the Allahu-ak Bar.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

Farts.

Why can't fat kids play poker?

They eat all the chips.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀