Humor
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
69.
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My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
Eat my butt.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?