Humor

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?

A baby in the microwave.

If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:

"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"

My grandfather had the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!

The image shows text that reads "when I'm in a see you later competition and my opponent is" above a black crocodile toy. Below that is a picture of Squidward from Spongebob looking scared.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ididap.

Ididap who?

That's the joke, you did a poo!

Why don't Romans find algebra fun?

X is always ten.

Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”

He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"

How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?

They're both inside jobs.

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"