Humor
Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
Why am I so sad?
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.