Humor
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
Why am I so sad?
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.