Humor
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Memes
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
...
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.