Humor
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. Hehehehe😛😛😛
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh wait...
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)