Humor

A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”

The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?

The priest stopped him on the way there.

Bee Jokes:

"Hello."

"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"

"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"

"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)

"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"

"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)

"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"

"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)

"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."

"Fan?"

"Yes, your worst fan!"

"No! Fan!"

"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"

"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)

What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?

Pokemon!

What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

Two wind turbines are standing in a field.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."

I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄

D: Johnny, Johnny.

J: Yes, Papa?

D: Eating sugar?

J: No, Papa!

D: Telling lies?

J: No, Papa!

D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)

Yeah, I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.

Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-

Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.

What do you call a 3 humped camel?

Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀

How did Caillou quit his party?

He had to cancel it.

When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?

European.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

I gave up hope and I liked it!!

I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?

"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."