Humor
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Memes
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.