Humor
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
Why can’t October fool April?
Because only April fools.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Memes
explain bear pull up I dare you >:(
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!