Humor
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What is the similarity between a joke and food? Some people just don't get them!
This video got me on the ground. 😂
Https://youtu.be/7AdpKigXyyA
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
The person who is reading this.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.