Humor

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.

I told my sister a Dairy joke.

She said it was cheesy.

How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.

I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call “daddy.”

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

Big black ball sacks.

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.