What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
Humor
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Orphan joke club Discord coming soon.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
