Humor
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
Big black ball sacks.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL