Humor
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
Ur face.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.