Wreck

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Friend

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

Bomb

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Memes

Food

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

Marijuana

Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?

They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.

Egg Yolk

Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

Face

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

Dye

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

Banana

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn't peeling very well!