James Bond jokes
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Octopussy.
Octopussy.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.