James Bond Jokes

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

What do you call a scared octopus?

A octopussy.

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."

What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?

Bubble 007.

Octopussy.

Octopussy.

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.