James Bond jokes
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
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James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
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What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Octopussy.
Octopussy.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
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What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.