Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Humor
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
