Humor
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Memes
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
I am a fat girl.