Humor
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Memes
Jokes about the poor aren't rich.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.