Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
Ring ring Abortion clinic! Where no fetus can beat us
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling
Me calling the orphan kid from school: hello are your parents home? The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* STOP CALLING HERE
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor? Telephone? NO. Television? No. How then? Tell A Woman
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a teleBONE.
why cant asian people use a telephone Because they might wing the wong number
what has 2 wings and a halo? a Chinese telephone (wing, wing, halo)
I called the suided hotline in Afghanistan and they got excited and ask if I could drive a b50two
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers? Hang in there.
yo mamas so fat she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
man 2001 just called they want a tower back
when i try to call my friend i can't get through because my name is Lin Kon and the operator Keeps saying yes Mr president
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other "What do you think about that mad cow disease". The other replies "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole.".
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
When Pope Pius (IX.) died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, St. Peter opened: "Who are you, what do you want?” "I am Pope Pius. I want to come to heaven.” “Where do you come from?" "Rome." "What do you mean? Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!"
To make sure to not erroneously deny access to an authorised person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God and asks: "Hello Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "What do you mean: Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "No, sorry, I don’t know him."
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello Junior - here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "Rome Italy." "No sorry, never heard of."
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?" "What does he mean, Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "He says Rome Italy." "No sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while he continues: "Wait, wait - tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
