Humor
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Jokes about the poor aren't rich.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Memes
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.