Humor
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.