Humor
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Memes
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.