Humor
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
Memes
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;