Humor
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.