Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Humor
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
