Humor
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Memes
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?