Humor
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?