Humor

What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

You might think these jokes are plane.

So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"

The boy said, "No, I don't know."

She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"

The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"

She said to him, "No, who is she?"

He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."

The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor/tooter.

What do oranges sweat?

Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because he forgot to plug in the charger.

Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?

Friends: No, what is it?

Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.

What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?

Special forces.

Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

A: A suicide bomber.

What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...