Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
Humor
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
Want to hear a joke about construction?
Sorry, I'm still working on it.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
