Humor
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
Memes
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
Want to hear a joke about construction?
Sorry, I'm still working on it.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.