Humor
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
Memes
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!